Did I make the right decision?
Clients and friends ask me this question a lot. Hell, even I’ve questioned my decisions throughout the majority of my life.
A few years ago, the guides asked me to look at the decisions I’ve made over the course of my life from a new perspective. To see these decisions as: learning new teachings, beliefs or ways of doing things and as letting go of old teachings, beliefs, or ways of doing things that I learned earlier on.
Looking at our ancestral lineage, I’ve realized that our knowledge as human beings has been influenced through the advancement of science and technology.
A very long time ago, we typically lived in a group community type setting, sharing shelter and food that was hunted or gathered. It was common for many generations to be living within a short distance of each other. The community would only travel outside a given area when they couldn’t find food around them anymore or if where they were living was no longer safe.
The community members all shared the same beliefs, and these beliefs were taught to each child, regardless if they were actually right or wrong. That child would then pass it onto his or her children. Each generation was taught the same as the many generations before them. There were also limits on travel or mobility – how far one could go or how many points of contact they had.
As time progressed and communities began to grow bigger, technology advanced from traveling on foot to other modes of transportation and people would go their own way, joining other communities or starting their own community.
Travel allowed for new ideas to be brought into an existing community. These ideas could again be good or bad. Science and technology continued to advance, and the travel radius grew bigger and bigger. Transportation by sea, land, and air has expanded rapidly in the last couple of centuries.
Today we can travel anywhere in the world, we can interact with people anywhere in the world, we can read about places on the internet, we can express ourselves through social media and see what other people on the other side of the globe are thinking or doing, etc.
Science has grown exponentially in terms of what we understand about the human mind and body.
Now today we have studies that tell us how to change human behaviour; we are learning now how resilient the human brain is. This generation has the ability to break the chain of what has been passed down through each generation. We have so much more control over our own lives than we once did.
We are at a point where we’re evaluating which beliefs and traditions we want to keep, and which we may not want to continue. We are at a point where we each have to decide what’s best for ourselves and our immediate communities and families.
When I ask someone, “Where or who did you learn that from?” (especially regarding an old or limiting belief), the majority of the time, the belief came from one’s parents. When the person realizes where it has come from, I ask if this is something they’ve processed in counselling or therapy and encourage them to do so. We could all use some form of talk therapy
When we allow ourselves to break old patterns from the past – ones that were rooted in emotional or psychological issues – it stops these old patterns from being carried forward into new generations. It allows healing and new growth to take place.
When you look at your life or examine your thoughts, can you see patterns, beliefs, or traditions that your parents, family members, teachers, or other people in authority have taught you growing up? Is it time to change? What do you want to keep and what do you want to let go of?
And remember not to blame anyone. Each person before you truly was doing the best they could given their own context and limitations. This exercise is about doing the work on yourself to stop patterns you no longer want to participate in. (Blaming someone else doesn’t solve anything.)
The guides said that every decision I have made came from everything I had learned up to that point. After a decision was made, I was actually learning and growing from it.
Have you heard the saying: “I wish I knew then what I know now”?
I’ve also learned to embrace the decisions I’ve made that were not good for me, because I know that I am growing and learning more. Even choices that weren’t the right ones in the moment are learning opportunities. Opportunities for growth. All my decisions have made me stronger. I can pass this new knowledge onto my children and grandchildren.
Remember that each day is a day to change things. Ask what you can do for yourself today. You are worth healing and remember that this healing isn’t just for you –
Edited by Tracy Wai de Boer